As humans we've come so far in a world of change. From adapting to creating, it’s just something that we've all learn to accept… well some of us. Besides encountering a situation that’s new and/or out of our comfort-zone, another major downside to change is our meager attempts to control it.
Thanks to this fast-paced society based on instant gratification, we expect something as natural as change to happen when we want it to happen. Think about it. The postal service was too slow, then came the birth of e-mail. Reading a map was way too time-consuming, and now Siri gets you to your destination. As nature (and the plot of Jurassic Park) has showed us time-and-time again, man can try to mend the universe to his will but it will only go so far. Yet we continue to base life on the laws of “suppose:”
“If I am good to this person, they should be good to me.”
“I’ve helped you out, you should thank me and do better.”
In a perfect world, being appreciated and recognized for our efforts would always be the ultimate end-result. However here on Earth the actions of its inhabitants aren't absolute. You can’t get a (grown) person to do what they don’t want to do. No great personality, degree, job title, amount of affection, or years known will lead a stubborn horse to water.
Fortunately one person changing for another is very possible. Unfortunately it won’t come unless it meets the following criteria:
1. Near death experience- Nothing makes a person consider a new way of life, until they’re close to meeting the end of theirs.
2. Divine Intervention- God came to Moses in a burning bush. Maybe all it takes for a person to see the light is with a bit of spiritual guidance from above.
3. A Personal Decision- This very small percentage are individuals who actually want to do a complete 360 and genuinely change for another.
If the person of your concern has not experienced one or all three of these scenarios, then it makes absolutely no sense to expect them to adapt to you. There is a silver-lining in this world of change, and that is the undying fact that we as individuals can create our own change. According to psychology, humans are equipped with response to stressful situations known as the “Fight-or-Flight Response”. Either we decide to stay and fight to alter someone’s views or remove ourselves from the situation and make a change for the better.