Why is it that when we fall in love we fall deep into everything they say?
Why is it that we give it our all but in the end we are left with nothing?
Why do we fall in the traps of I love you? You are my everything? My life is not complete without you? it will take me months and years to get over you?
Why do we believe those things so easily? But when it’s all said and done they can just eat up all their words and its meaning?
Why is it that even though we know that something is wrong or there are changes to the relationship and things are just no longer the same, we choose to ignore and just accept those changes because we are too scared to question it.
For weeks or even months we ignore the signs of: -
· No more late night calls.
· No more sweet text messages exchanged.
· No more I love you and I miss you
· No more meaningful conversations.
· Awkward silences when you’re together
· No more weekend plans, cancelled trips.
· No more relationship status on Facebook.
· Photos on Facebook slowly deleted.
We just tell ourselves that they are just probably busy, they are probably just tired from work, no money to go out and whatever other excuses you can think off to make you feel better.
We just make ourselves blinded by the truth and create this little fairytale where everything is ok and we will live happily ever.
How long do we keep going like this? We keep quiet so we don’t get hurt and the fear of losing someone.
At the end you are left blindsided when they tell you that things are no longer the same, the feelings are no longer there, it’s no you - it’s me, I think we need a break.
Changes can be good or bad for a relationship it can mean you’re relationship is maturing and has come to a point you both understand each other. You guys may be over “honeymoon” stage but still you love each other and still want to stay in that relationship together.
While other changes are signs that something is wrong, for others it can be the only way they can express themselves, it maybe their way out of a relationship, they might just be building up the courage to tell you.
You should be able to question these changes and get an honest answer.
Ask them if everything is ok? Are feelings still the same? Why aren’t you messaging anymore? Why did you take this down? Why this and why that? Where did you guys go wrong? What can you do to fix things? Can it still be fixed? Where do you want to go from here?
I always say that communication is important in a relationship, you must be able to express your feelings and thoughts without any hesitations. You must always be prepared for the answers you may not want to hear and you shouldn’t be scared to get hurt. You shouldn’t be naive and think it’s all ok. As much as we want to avoid getting hurt in a relationship and skip all the heartache and crying.
Unfortunately it’s all part of it. I believe that Love is Pain and without pain there is really no love.
It’s those struggles, disappointments and heartache which helps us become stronger, it helps us build our character, it helps us to realise and learn from our mistakes.